?????

So basically...

2007-04-17T18:33:23Z

I'm back in Oxford, and all I can think about is the fact that:
The first part of my Final Exams (definately warranting Capital Letters) starts Thursday.

I'm hoping to be writing essays on:

The function(s) of the prefrontal cortex
Associative Learning
Problem Solving
Affiliation and Relationships
& Creativity

...IF those questions come up. Otherwise, I might be a little screwed. I need to research some studies for each of those.

And of course, my laptop currently doesn't work, so I have to use the internet in the communal computer lab.

So um, I'm alive, if anyone's wondering, and will be much much happier come next week.

Send some positive thoughts my way!

Ah Memories...

2007-03-16T05:32:28Z

"I have returned!!

Hmm... Treasure Hunt. This thing needs some kind of a new twist...
Oh! Hello, Ms. Pilkington!"

Meaning: I'm back in the US!

And... I'm coming to see Seussical the Musical today, Friday the 16th!

EDIT: It was sleeting, so I didn't go. Will hopefully go tomorrow!

If anyone else is going/wants to see me/wouldn't mind being annoyed for a while tomorrow, let me know!

Callllll meeeeee.

That is all.

Things be goin'

2007-02-23T21:56:57Z

Hiro Nakamura
You scored 75 Idealism, 58 Nonconformity, 54 Nerdiness

YATTA!Congratulations, you're Hiro Nakamura! You're a high-minded idealist, a huge nerd, and you enjoy being a unique and special person. Your combination of positive personality traits makes you impossibly lovable, and your energy and enthusiasm are absolutely infectious. Your dedication to any mission you take on, in addition to your cheerful sense of humor, are qualities anyone should be proud to have. Your best quality: Spunk Your worst quality: You are too cute. Some people may not be able to handle it.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Idealism

You scored higher than 99% on Nonconformity

You scored higher than 99% on Nerdiness

Link: The Heroes Personality Test written by freedomdegrees on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Deceptively difficult.

2007-02-19T22:45:12Z

Why do I find it so difficult to see people I consider as friends regularly, when I don't have an iron-clad excuse for seeing them? For example, I love having rehearsals, as it gives me an excuse to hang out with people without having to actually suggest it.

But, when I'm not in a play or an a capella group, it's really hard for me to make overtures of continued social interest without an excuse.

This seems really lame, but I always worry "What if I'm coming across too strongly?" since I always seem to have to do the initiating (not to mention what THAT fact makes me think) of any social contact.

I wish I could just feel confident enough that "I would like to spend time with you" is enough of a reason for asking someone to get together. Instead of trying to arrange formalized 'reunions' of previous casts, organized lunch dates, or making plans to see shows together, I would like to just suggest going for a walk or just having a sit in the university parks without coming across as weird.

Or maybe I just AM weird, and normal people just rely on circumstance, impersonal events and generalized socialization such as clubbing or pubbing for their social contact needs.

It's stupid to feel lonely when I'm fairly sure there are loads of people who like spending time with me. Grr.

Also, I want a running partner. Running alone is boring.

All of this came from sitting in the rain for half an hour, wondering why it wasn't as nice as usual. Then it came to me, meditating on your life is all well and good, but there comes a point when you know how YOU feel about it, and you want to see what another mind makes of it. Maybe this is why I'm a relatively talkative introvert?

Isn't it odd?

2007-02-14T16:25:46Z

How Valentine's day causes so much sadness, and so little happiness?

Maybe Grace has it right; we should change it to "Platonic Love of Everything Day"

Haven't updated in a while so...

2006-12-19T02:44:45Z

I'm home. This is a massively good thing. I've hung out with QO people. Also a massively good thing. I've played a ridiculous amount of Final Fantasy XII. Guess what kind of thing that is.

I thought I would be hanging out tonight so didn't make any plans. But I'm not, and my mom is late getting back from dog class... which means I might not even be able to see a movie. I go to movies alone in Oxford sometimes when bored and no one's around, but not in my own home state... partially to do with the fact that the cinema is within walking distance in Oxford.

So... dang. Mom's home, which means I'll see a movie, and finish this later...?

LATERZ

It's the end.

2006-11-22T00:09:22Z

I have finished my final theatrical performance this term.

I'm glad I will have time to perhaps get my academic performance up to snuff, and maybe even catch up on my sleep.
I'm not glad for other reasons though.

This term has been so good to me in many ways, but it's been a term of effort in order to make the eventual benefits bigger, and I haven't really seen them yet. Hints and twinkles, but nothing tangible. There's still time, and always next term, but I'm afraid that the break will work to undo some of the energy I've put in. Holidays are good at making you forget.

I don't want to forget, though. I don't want to be forgotten.

Bah, humbug. I'm not ready for Christmas yet.

Another acting angst article?

2006-11-11T01:05:45Z

No.

I am currently performing in a run of Carousel, by Rodgers and Hammerstein. I choose to believe that I am doing well, if not perfectly. I just received notice that I was not called back for my audition for a show next term. Our Country's Good - a story about the first settlers of Australia. Not a happy story. In fact, a very tense and fairly hopeless story of how people try to make their situation better.

I choose to believe that this, my apparent failure in auditioning was due to the facts that: A) I didn't really care about the result, not knowing the play well nor liking what I knew; B) I do not fit the director's idea of the characters she wants to create with her actors.

While I am a firm believer in human potential (In this case: that any actor could play any part equally as well as another), it is also true that people can't always see potential in others, and, indeed, have views about what interpretation would be most suited for their vision. I do not believe that human potential extends to giving each actor the ability to play a part the SAME as one another. Cast one person in one part, you'll get one character, cast a different person, or cast them in a different part, you'll get a different one, every time. Some are better, some are worse, but not immutably so; people, actors, characters can improve (and decline, as well). I choose to believe I didn't get called back because they did not think my characterization suited their vision of the show. Fair enough.

I have gotten almost undiluted praise about Carousel, which may be just a result of selective perception, or may be because it actually inspires a majority opinion of quality. I choose to believe it is in some part due to effort and forethought on my part.

Getting in is only the first step. It is the performance that counts.

I needed to boost myself a little for the final night. Thanks for reading.

If I loved you...?

2006-10-12T22:46:49Z

How can things be so easy and yet so hard at the same time?

I did an experiment testing how many events you could think of in six separate boxes, events that did happen to you, that will happen to you, in a day, week, or year. Each condition was 3 minutes.

My past stuff is pretty impressive, including trips to new parts of 3 countries, won 2nd best college a capella group in the world, and got either large roles in small shows, or small roles in large shows for 4 productions here. But some of its seems just like preparation for what I truly want to do in the future.

I would be happy if even half the stuff I predicted in the next year came true. I just wish I could be sure I was on the right path to achieving it.

I hate feeling like a failure.

Shameless Advertising

2006-09-17T04:44:08Z

Hey guys...

As I have miraculous forgotten half of the reason I joined OOTB during the time when I was actually seeing (some of) you all at auditions:

I HAVE CD'S! OF ME! AND OUT OF THE BLUE! BUT MOSTLY ME!!! (Seriously, I am the only one with two solos!) SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION! SOON TO BECOME A COLLECTOR'S ITEM!

CAPITAL LETTERS!

If anyone actually wants one, call me or comment or something before I leave next Saturday, the 23rd, and let me know. I'll even do delivery if I know where you live. A 'bargain' at $15. Plus, you can burn it without my knowledge for any friends that I don't know personally (and thus would harass).

So yeah, though I'd put that out there.

$15,
One week,
Message to me,
You do the math.

No, I'll do it for you: BUY A CD!

Sex, Drugs, and Rock n' Roll

2006-08-05T12:16:22Z

EDIT:
It took so much just to drop my barrier that I don't feel like I have all that much energy left to actually do anything about it. Give it time, I suppose. After all, what's a week or two after 19 1/2 years?

Well... Rock and Roll at least.

Singing twice a day on the hugely crowded street, blasting out familiar songs on stage every day, seeing original works done by unoriginal performers, seeing unoriginal works done by amazing high schoolers, looking for love longingly, looking for fun haphazardly, hearing more Scottish accents than I ever dreamed possible.

It will be an interesting month.

I miss summer already, but not because it's more fun... It's just more relaxing not having to make much effort to enjoy oneself, whereas here dynamic energy is requisite for even minimal daily maintenence of responsibility, much less relation.

When you want something enough, you will subconsciously act to draw it towards you.

This is what I'm trying to do here in the land of kilts and bagpipes.

Best wishes all.

P.S. Out of the Blue got five out of five stars on the best-known review paper in the festival, better than any other pre-professional show to my knowledge.

crii @ 2006-06-30T01:09:00

2006-06-30T05:12:31Z

I'm home.
Call me,
Or I won't call you.

How's that for a deal?

I was right-ish.

2006-06-10T22:32:46Z

So. I'm in Threepenny, as a small part.

But...
I got the lead in Carousel!
THE LEAD.

Not that I've ever seen the show. But I will.
It's in a small venue, but it's a chance to get noticed.
Haha...get noticed, I sound like a Oxford Union socialite.
You know what I mean though, right? Just a chance to prove oneself...

Also, my singing range is getting wider and stronger. And... I'm Tour Manager for OOTB next year.
Want to know why?

Because it's an East Coast tour! That means any of you on the East Coast during Eastertime next year should tell me where you are and name any high schools in your area, because I'll try and book gigs with them! Virginia, Vermont, New York, MARYLAND!!!

I hope I can convince QO to let us do loads of shows, and maybe in the Auditorium? If any of you feel brave you can casually mention it to Ms. Mac or J-dog. MCPS will never have seen so much British A Capella.

Even having an exam in a week is not dampening my spirits. I'll just be humming any tunes of Carousel I can get ahold of while I read my lectures handouts in the sun.

AHHHHH. I shall now take a shower, eat a bag of chocolate cookies and read before bed.

I love each and every one of you (platonically:).
-Arden.

Forgive me...

2006-06-05T23:34:39Z

Could be!
Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!

Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!

Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!

With a click, with a shock,
Phone'll jingle, door'll knock,
Open the latch!
Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon;
Catch the moon,
One-handed catch!

Around the corner,
Or whistling down the river,
Come on, deliver
To me!
Will it be? Yes, it will.
Maybe just by holding still,
It'll be there!

Come on, something, come on in, don't be shy,
Meet a guy,
Pull up a chair!
The air is humming,
And something great is coming!
Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Maybe tonight...

Guess what?

2006-05-30T22:19:09Z

Turns out someone dropped out of Threepenny, so I'm in after all!

I think I got the best possible result from this though...I didn't get in originally, which made me reevaluate how I was going about auditioning and acting in general, and also gave me a healthy dose of humility, but now I still get to be in it!

Not that I'm going to forget that I am not REALLY in it. But it will be fun to be a part of, to be sure.

Now I just need to survive Cuckoo's hell week, and ace my last preliminary exam.

Did I mention sometimes I wonder if I lead a charmed life? Like, I feel sometimes like I'm getting ahead through no fault of my own? I don't know...

Really looking forward to coming home and also to seeing a good many of you!

I love the world, Arden.

An Acted Life...

2006-05-24T21:22:43Z

Have you ever considered the fraction 2/5? 0.4? otherwise known as 40%, 2:3, etc?

REALLY considered it?

If you have, what was your conclusion? Is it a nice fraction, a good fraction. A fraction YOU'd be happy with.

Because I'm certainly NOT.

Where does this oh-so-nasty fraction come from?

My audition record.

I got in to the first two plays I tried out for, in the Oxford Playhouse the *best* venue in Oxford. I got tiny, ridiculously short parts, true. But I GOT IN.

However, I thought I'd audition for Comedy, just for the hell of it. The Oxford revue turned me down.
I thought I'd audition for a French Sartre play, just for fun. Oxford Kiwi Productions turned me down.
I auditioned for the Threepenny Opera, the coolest musical ever to come out of Germany (aside perhaps from Hedwig...?), which had parts I could really sink my pretty teeth into... MOFO turned me down.

What do these three failures have in common? Me and acting.

Is it just perhaps that I did the cold readings as I assumed they would go in the context of the play, with subtle changes and transitions, rather than the shouting match which I heard most of the other auditionees producing through the doors?

Or is it perhaps, symptomatic of something more fundamental? Something that perhaps I, Ms. McCary, lol my mother, and the rest didn't see, but that the Maryland Distinguished Scholar board, the English Speaking Union's Shakespeare Competition, the Theatrefest Scholarship committe did? That I have no exceptional talent in acting, and perhaps have only engaged in such a wealth of theatrical production out of pitiful eagerness for something I could never have, and was given undeserved acclaim, persisting the deception?

Regardless, my next auditions, for small shows in tiny venues, will be the most melodramatic and shouty things you've ever heard. I'll see where that gets me.

What the hell have I been doing here all this time?

Rehearsing for 6 hours for a 2 hour show...

2006-05-19T11:03:43Z

01. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie/icon reminds me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, I'll tell you what it would be.
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.

Wonderful!

2006-05-11T22:58:53Z

It's Fate!

I just got an OOTB solo! The Way by Fastball (a one-hit wonder, I think)!

I got a callback for a show next term!

And... Guess who I just saw my first West End (equivalent of Broadway) show with?

None other than the man, the legend, Daniel Kinka himself.

Lol...what a surreal week. Two essays written at 1-4 AM two days in a row, only to be praised by tutors; My first successful non-travel trip into London, two successful auditions and Danny Kinka. Who would have thunk it?

It's been a long day, Arden.

World ICCA Competition

2006-04-28T14:43:53Z

Out of the Blue is participating in the Finals for the International A Capella Competitition this weekend in New York. It will be crazy.

I leave tomorrow at 4 AM, and get back Monday at 9 AM. SLEEPLESSNESS EVERYWHERE!

And then I'm auditioning for the Oxford Revue, which is a comedy show. That should be interesting... I've never done anything like it before.

And...

Monday is May Day, which I think means that people all stay up and party randomly.

I need to sleep a lot before I go, so I will be rested-ish for the competition, which is Saturday.

Hope the show is going well!

And wish us luck!

Love, Arden.

EDIT:
May Day is indeed today. However, the staying up and craziness was largely last night, when I was still flying back, so I managed to avoid it. Perhaps there will be some aftershocks tonight though?

In other news.

1st place in the ICCA's: Vocal Point, the all Mormon, all American sensation from Brigham Young, who spend 20 hours a week rehearsing and whose rehearsal is considered a class for their diploma.

2nd place in the ICCA's: OUT OF THE BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm slightly excited, if you can't tell. Yes, that means Out of the Blue is the second best A Capella group in the world. Also, that means we have the eight best British A capella singers in the world, the best Thai/Belgium singer, the best Singaporean singer, the best German singer, the best Dutch singer, and...

The 9th best (after the eight Mormons) American A Cappella singer in the world!!!!!!

Yours truly, Arden Moscati.

Return of the Me.

2006-04-05T19:11:22Z

I'm home and home-free!!!!

I'd drone on and on about the Out of the Blue tour to the West Coast, but I figure if you decide want to hear about it, you can ask me (because that way I'll get out of the house!)

I'm only here for two weeks...

For you people in the play, when would be a good time to come watch rehearsals? Tomorrow, Day after, every weekday until I leave? Thought so.

I also have loads of OOTB CD's with me, so if you are interested in buying one, I can hook you up. There's a new one since they came last year.

Hope to see you all soon!

Jubilations!

2006-03-11T00:17:25Z

I can hear a grateful nations Chee...!

PIPPIN!!! SIT DOWN!!!!!!!!!

But seriously: No more prelims, no more books, no more tutors' dirty looks!

I have finished my exams. I probably did averagely and failed to distinguish myself, but eh, I don't much care at this point, cause I don't know and ignorance is bliss.

I have a very important schedule to keep this week. It involves a very important date with my bed. We are going to get physical for a long time. You know when you just want to say "I want to be on you." Yeah, it's that strong.

Also, I am going to the West Coast for the first time in about a week, which will involve far too much singing, but also visiting my dear sister, who now lives near L.A. And then home at last, home at last, thank god almighty, home at last!

'Twill be brilliance.

Into the Woods and Out of the woods...

2006-03-02T19:45:21Z

Once more, ITW is over, and I have a life...well, more of one anyway.
My skin has recovered somewhat. My voice is, well, recovering. Apparently the musical was good for it, though, cause guess what?

I'm backup soloist for Kung-Fu Fighting!

I know, I didn't think I could hit B flats either!

Shit...that means I have to, occasionally. Well, you know what they say, the only certain things in life are B flats and exams.

What?

EDIT: I finally found out the cast for Cuckoo's Nest, or at least most of it. Almost half the parts are 1st-years... I think they had a quota or something. Oh well, in is in, I suppose, even it's just because of my demographic.

Who knows?

2006-02-20T13:27:11Z

This could be informative...

Please use aliases if you want.

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Crii

The calm before the hell...

2006-02-18T00:28:02Z

Guess what? I'm crazy and Italian.
and I'm in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
As a crazy Italian.
Excellent.

I found out it is an Oxford Playhouse show(which is the biggest venue, though still smaller than QO's lovely auditorium!).
I have not, however, found out any of the rest of the cast, so I have absolutely no idea who I'm working with.

Tommorow (today) - Wake up at 8, go to an Out of the Blue 'retreat' from 9 AM to noon, go to choreography rehearsal for Into the Woods at 10AM till noon. Have the final run before technical rehearsals till 7, then walk back to Brasenose in about half an hour. At 7, arrive in a tuxedo at the Oxford Union to sing with OOTB at the Valentine's Ball till 10 PM. Sunday, write the three essays that I won't have time to do during hell week, and then the 3 hour statistics practice test that I have to turn in Monday.

I need a time-turner.

As a (more) personal side note: I'm finding that I'm becoming even less social recently. Not only do I now not go out at all of my own volition now, but I refuse invitations, as well as leaving as early as possible from social functions that I have to attend. Since I do this willingly, it is odd that I am lonely. Even more odd, I am not depressed in the least, just kind of vaguely emotionally 'alone'. What happens to a heart in isolation? Well, according to 4 hours of watching a frog heart, it beats if it has enough Calcium, Sodium, and Potassium, and not too little or too much of either. If friends are my potassium, love is my sodium, and performing is my calcium, I'm in tetanus.

See what happens when you stray too close to medicine? You start using animal experimentation metaphors.

Where did I go wrong?

Vague unfocused positive feelings to all of you, Arden.

ICCA's

2006-02-12T01:11:52Z

Remember barbershop? How we fought and bled and practiced and fought and bled and always got underappreciated?

Remember all those times when bad luck, conflicting planning, bitchy music teachers, and effeminate camp organizers prevented our triumph?

Remember, just because things went wrong, doesn't mean that they never go better.

Remember that time when Out of the Blue won the European A Capella championships? Now you do.

Remember that time that validated all the time and energy I spend on music? It was about two hours ago.

We're going to New York for the world championship in like a month. Good things happen.

Any pathetic acronym I could use for this situation falls far short of the intended emotional outburst. I leave it to your vibrant imaginations to decide how awesome I'm feeling.

Joy to the world!